Lessons in Croatian.

- If you want six slices of podravec, you can ask for the "sir podravec" (podravec cheese) and say "šest krišaka, molim vas".

- When quoted a price at the grocery, you can pretend you know Croatian numbers by giving the cashier a large bill (large enough to cover the cost), and say, "Ja samo imam dvjesta kuna." ("I only have 200 kuna.") It's a good way to get change, too. This works best at groceries frequented by foreigners (where they are prepared to give change for large bills), otherwise you will get a feisty look and a request for exact change.

- Don't say "hljeb" at a Croatian dinner table, otherwise Pepe will chastise you. ("Hljeb" is the Bosnian and/or Serb word for bread. But definitely not Croatian.)

- You can try as hard as you can to remember the three long words on a sign over a pile of rubble, or even take a picture for later translation, but when you see the same words on a sign in the middle of a dump, it probably means "Dump".

- Sometimes the pekara (bakery) doesn't have signs on all of the tasty goodies in the window, but if you say "čokoladno" (chocolate), you can't go wrong.